Happy Blogiversary!!!!

Today is my Blogiversary! 🙂 It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since I put up my very first blog post! I remember being so anxious about how it would be received and how scared I was to open myself up to something new. In hindsight, I’m extremely happy that I went through with it because it has been an awesome experience and a great outlet for me. I will be the first to admit that I haven’t been consistent with my posts, but ya’ll have been there to support each post that did get published. I thank you and appreciate you for that! The support that I receive from my readers is one of the things that keeps me going. I’ve had some great times and some rough times this year, but I’m still here! I’m not where I thought I would be after a year, but I’m working on some things. I’m pushing myself to be the best version of ME that I can be! It’s all about growth and progress.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a big step or a baby step, it’s still a step. I have so many goals set for this next year and I can’t wait to share them with you! Year two is going to be all about “Operation Goal Digger!” LOL!

Thanks again for all of your love and support! I love each and every one of you!

~Mrs. Accountabilitee

Try Something New!

The other night hubby and I ventured out in the streets of Seattle to find some dinner. One thing we noticed rather quickly was that most of the restaurants near our hotel closed rather early. There was this one place that we passed that was still open named “Ba Bar”. It looked nice and the sign on the front said “Street Food” so we automatically assumed that it would be a restaurant with dishes that we’re accustomed to. Lesson one… never assume! The vibe was cool and the staff was very nice. The hostess handed us the menus once we sat down and that’s when we realized we didn’t know what we had just gotten ourselves into. We weren’t familiar with anything on the menu because it was a Vietnamese restaurant. Neither of us had eaten Vietnamese food before and although we vowed to try new things on this trip we both started thinking about plan B immediately. Unfortunately, our plan B which was the hotel restaurant had just closed so we didn’t have much of a choice if we planned on eating dinner that night.

Our waiter walked us through the menu pointing out some of his favorites and the best dishes for first timers. We took his advice and ordered two small plates to share. We were pleasantly surprised when our food came out! Both dishes were amazing! We had Crispy Imperial Rolls and Sài Gòn Chicken Wings. The chicken wings were some of the best wings I’ve ever had! In fact, they were so good CJ was eating them! Anybody that knows my husband knows that he does not eat chicken on the bone at all! The crispy imperial rolls were to be wrapped up in a piece of lettuce with a mixture of vegetables and then dipped in the sauce that came with it. That combination was absolutely delicious! All of the ingredients were okay eaten by themselves, but when it was all together it was something magical! We also had Mexican Cokes with homemade Pomegranate Grenadine which was great! We couldn’t thank our waiter enough for the awesome suggestions and amazing service.

Thinking about our experience really made me put some things into perspective regarding life in general. Far too often we tend to run away from new things because we’re not familiar with it and we’re scared to try the unknown. Most times we’re forced to try something different just as we were the other night. The funny thing is once you do try something different you realize it’s really not as bad as you thought or even better, you end up loving it! I can only imagine how many times I’ve ran away from the unknown just because I didn’t want to take a risk and I’ve probably missed out on some pretty amazing experiences because of it. It’s crazy how something as simple as making a decision about dinner can make you look at life and your thought process as a whole. I can definitely say that I’ve been way more open to new things just in the few days that we’ve been here in Seattle simply because of that one experience.

Today’s message is YOLO (You Only Live Once)! I know it’s cliché, but it’s so real! We all have one life to live and tomorrow is NOT promised! Try new things! Be open to change and move out of your comfort zone! There’s probably some awesome hidden gems that you’re not exposing yourself to merely because of the unknown! The unknown can be scary, but sometimes it’s worth it and there may even be a lesson in the experience for you.

 

Scared & Shocked

Yesterday I experienced one of the scariest moments in my life! My entire life! I’ve tried to move on from it, but it’s weighing heavy on my heart and I really can’t seem to shake it. I keep replaying the events in my head and all of the ways that it could’ve went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. Hopefully writing about what happened will help me heal.

Jailah and I went to the dollar store yesterday so that I could return some items and purchase a few more things for my sister’s baby shower tomorrow. I was completely annoyed with the manager and the cashier in the store because they just seemed to make the process way more difficult than it really needed to be. After finally finishing my transaction the manager noticed that the cashier didn’t circle the returned items on the receipt so she wanted to sit there and do it all before giving me my original receipt. I was like don’t worry about it and walked out. I certainly didn’t want to be in there any longer! Or so I thought…

Jailah and I walked out of the dollar store talking and laughing in our own little world while crossing the street. By the time we made it to the middle of the street I heard “Don’t f*cking move! Stay still!” I looked to my left and there was an officer with a vest on in the grass not too far from my car with his gun on these two guys. My brain processed the situation in a split second and I realized that this could go way left real quick! I was too far from the dollar store door to run back in there. My car was too close to them and Wawa was too far. Everything else was open space. Thankfully there was a huge pickup truck in the first parking space near us so we ran there and ducked for cover just in case these guys refused to go down without a fight. I was shaking as I noticed officers in plain clothes coming from all different directions in the parking lot towards them. Seeing the officers with their guns drawn, having to duck behind the truck for cover and hearing the aggression in their voices scared me, but it scared my baby to the core. She was crying hysterically and screaming “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die Mommy!” I tried to comfort her, but the truth of the matter was I really didn’t know what was going to happen. All I knew was that I was going to do whatever it takes to get my baby and I out of there. I couldn’t imagine being in the middle of a gun battle between the cops and these guys. I also couldn’t help but think about the possibility of these guys being killed by the cops if they didn’t comply or if the cops felt like they were in danger. Two young African American men surrounded by police with guns drawn. That situation didn’t go so well for quite a few people so I was very concerned about what we walked into. One wrong move by any of them could’ve put us in even more danger than we were already in. Not even 30 seconds after ducking behind the truck undercover cars and trucks came flying around the corner and a few seconds later marked cars were pulling up as well. They had them completely surrounded. It was like a scene straight up out of a movie. After seeing all the cars pulling up and ATF agents running to the scene I peeked to see if it was safe to make a move. I saw both guys on the ground and the officers appeared to have control of the situation so I pushed the button on my keys to open the side door and told Jailah that we were going to run to the car. I grabbed her, put her in the car, got in and maneuvered my way around some spectators so that I could exit from the other end of the shopping center.

We were back home in 3 minutes flat. I thanked God over and over again for covering us and allowing us to make it home and out of that situation safely. After consoling Jailah I was able to take a moment to breath and calm down. I tried to let it go. I tried to go on about my evening like it never happened, but I just couldn’t. My head was pounding and my mind was torturing me with all of the things that could’ve happened. “What if I parked the car one more space up and ended up right next to them as the cops pulled their guns?” “What if they didn’t want to get down and decided to grab us to keep the cops away?” “What if we had nowhere to hide?” “What if we would’ve decided to walk down to another store instead of going straight to the car?” “What if the guys ran and the cops started shooting our way?” All of these “what ifs” are constantly playing in my mind, but what’s worse is hearing the terror in my baby’s voice as she cried and told me that she didn’t want to die. That hurts my soul and every time I think about it I start crying. I never want my babies to feel the fear that she had in her heart yesterday. We both could’ve been seriously harmed or lost our lives yesterday if someone else would’ve made a bad decision. There are no words to explain how that feels.

I pray for my family everyday and I ask God to keep us safe and away from any type of harm. I ask that he cover us top to bottom, inside and out, and all around. Today we were covered! Regardless of how scared I was I immediately went into survival mode and Mommy the protector mode. Some people crumble when they have to make split second decisions. I thank God for giving me the strength to assess my situation and do what was best for us.

This situation is proof that it’s not always about the city. It’s about the people. We live in a great neighborhood that’s literally all of 3 minutes (maybe 5 if you get caught waiting for traffic at the stop sign) from this shopping center. There are a few people that I’ve seen in other neighborhoods surrounding the shopping center that seem suspect, but overall it’s relatively quiet. I’ve been in and out of that dollar store and many other stores in that shopping center more times that I could even begin to count since we moved to the area almost 2 years ago. I would have never guessed that I would witness something like this. I’m not sure if those guys were just in the area or if they actually live in the area, but their presence in that area made me feel like I was in Wilmington. Not that I’ve ever experienced that in Wilmington, but you hear about that type of behavior in the city from time to time. The county is clearly not exempt! The suburbs aren’t exempt either! All it takes is one bad apple to ruin the bunch. One person can make a decision that changes everything for those around him/her. I have no idea what these guys did or who they were, but I am very thankful that they weren’t selfish enough to risk the lives of those around them for an attempt at freedom.

Life is so precious! Cherish every single second because you really never know what you’re going to walk into! Everyday we leave our families to go to work, school, the store or to run errands not knowing if it’s going to be our last time seeing them. That’s the reality of this life we live. Make sure your loved ones know that you love them. Don’t make them assume. Tell them! Show them! You don’t want to have any regrets if something tragic were to happen. I don’t know about you, but I want my flowers and love while I’m here!

Just in case you haven’t heard it today… God loves you and so do I!

Thanks for listening fam.

Love,

Mrs. Accountabilitee

Thighs In Love

Let me start by saying that this is not your average post. This is nothing like my other blog posts, but I promise you the message is REAL! I apologize in advance if this makes anyone feel some type of way because that is not the purpose of this post at all! This absolutely just my way of dealing with my own personal obstacles. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying and you have to make moves to ensure that you don’t stay in a place that you don’t want to be in.

My thighs are in love with each other! Yup, you read that right! My thighs are madly in love! They fight my jeans daily just to get to each other again. Lately, my jeans have been losing the battle against the lovebirds. I’ve always been used to maybe one or two pairs of jeans with wear and tear or holes in the inner thighs, but these days I’ve been doing the “Can you see the holes if I stand like this or bend like this” test in front of the mirror a little more than I would like! After a few wears and washes the holes seem to grow uncontrollably! I’m not talking about holes the size of quarters either! Some of my jeans have holes that I can literally fit my fist through! I was amazed! Like how the hell did that happen?!?!?! I was convinced that my favorite brand of jeans was obviously faulty, but that thought was shot down as soon as I noticed that it was three different brands of jeans that I was looking at! My thighs were the common denominator! Now if the holes were on the front of the jeans I would be set because that’s the style these days, but I don’t think it’s cute to have my inner thigh chub protruding out of my jeans. Even if that does become the latest trend at some point, I’ll pass.

Eventually, my jeans with holes pile exceeded my normal everyday jeans pile and that caught my attention! Not because I had obviously gained weight and my thighs were darn near causing a fire from rubbing together so much, but because I’m cheap and I was staring at all the money that I spent on jeans that I can no longer wear. (Don’t judge me!) I also started thinking about how much it was going to cost me to replace all of those jeans. It was then that I started thinking about what caused this to begin with because I didn’t want to waste any more money! Like I said, I’m cheap! I didn’t even have to think about it because it was very obvious that my issue was my weight. I stopped eating right, I stopped working out and I picked up all of the weight that I had lost plus a few extra pounds. Wasting my money was my own fault!

This didn’t happen overnight though and if I’m honest with myself I can say that I noticed the signs, but chose to ignore them. I blamed the type of denim I was wearing anytime I could hear the annoying sound as my thighs rubbed together when I walked down a quiet hall at work. I wasn’t wearing the infamous corduroys that are known for making that noise, but yet there it was LOUD and clear. I would always end up walking funny as I failed at my attempt to avoid the sound that’s ridiculously annoying like squeaky sneakers on a bathroom floor.

Let’s be clear, I don’t expect to ever have a thigh gap. In fact, I don’t remember ever having one.  However, I can definitely stand to lose some of the thickness in my thighs. Right now, it’s my jeans but by summer I’ll be in physical pain from even more chaffing than I’m used to or I’ll be investing in a lot of body glide! When ya’ll see me on the beach this summer with my cut-up denim shorts on with my bathing suit just know that it’s one of the many pairs of jeans that I had to cut because my thighs loved each other so much and I refused to throw them away!

I didn’t write this to body shame anyone or even myself for that matter. It’s simply my way of shining light on something that isn’t always talked about, but is very real! The thick thighs struggle is REAL!!!! I’m sure someone can relate to this in some way! Either you’ve been there, you are there or you know someone that has been there. It’s a part of life for a lot of us. Don’t be ashamed of who you are or how you look. You should always love yourself first and be happy in your own skin! However, if you see room for improvement do what you have to do for YOU! That’s what I plan to do!

It’s Time…

As I sit here with tears rolling down my face, I feel the need to write. I write things daily, but today is very different. I opened my phone to do my usual social media scrolling while I eat my lunch, but today I didn’t get a chance to click on any of those accounts because I found myself staring at my grandmother. Her picture has been my wallpaper for almost two months now. It was in that moment that I felt like she was telling me “It’s time…” in her own little way. Time for what? Time to finish what I started. Time to push myself out of this space that I’ve been in. Time to follow through and keep my word. Time to use my emotions for good. Time to straighten up. Time to get back on my grind. Time to stop making excuses. Time to work. Time to make her proud!

Back in October I got two devastating blows back to back when I received news about two very important women in my life. I really didn’t know how to handle it so I eventually shut down. All of my creativity went out the window along with my drive to work on my blog or Youtube channel. I still had thoughts, ideas, and information to share, but my mind was all over the place. During this time I eventually stopped training, being active and eating right. It didn’t take long for all of my progress to go down the drain. I tried to push myself, but I just couldn’t do it. Then the feeling of failure came and kicked me while I was already down. That took a toll on me mentally and obviously didn’t help my situation at all.

Three months after receiving the devastating news the unthinkable happened. My grandmother passed away surrounded by her loved ones. I held her hand as she transitioned and I didn’t want to let go. I felt like letting go would be confirmation of what I really didn’t want to accept. I know holding her hand wouldn’t change the fact that she was gone, but it made sense to me in the moment. January 23, 2017 was without a doubt the hardest day of my life. Not only did I lose my grandmother, but we had to go home and deliver the news to our daughters.

The day before she passed she told us that she wanted to get out of the hospital and she wanted to go home. I remember rubbing her hand and telling her that we would get her out of there asap. The last thing she said to me was “Okay” as she shook her head slowly. She got out of there and she did go home, but not to her physical home. I wanted her to be able to walk in her house again. I wanted to be able to stop by and say “Hey Mom-Mom!” as she sat in the chair reading. I wanted to hear her laugh and say “Tee you better leave me alone!” when I made a joke about her. I really wanted those things, but I can’t be selfish. She’s in a much better place where pain and suffering is a thing of the past.

It’s been almost two months and it still doesn’t feel real. I have my moments, but I’ve been trying to stay strong because I know that’s what she would want. When I looked at her picture a little bit ago I heard “It’s time…” She used to always tell us “It’s time to get on the good foot!” and that’s the message I received from her today. It’s time to push forward, take care of myself, invest in myself, get back to what I love and make her proud!

I heard you loud and clear Mom-Mom! I’m on it! I promise!

Operation “GET ON THE GOOD FOOT” has begun!

~Mrs. Accountabilitee

 

 

Unplug & Reset

I’m sure we’ve all had to unplug a cable box or two in our lifetime so you can probably relate to the picture shown above. This picture perfectly describes what I had to do to get back to where I wanted to be. I needed to unplug myself from some things for a little bit so that I could reset and start working to my full potential again. Life threw me a few curve balls all at once and I wasn’t really sure how to handle them so I ended up letting go of everything that I was working on or thinking about. I was hurting and I felt helpless because there was nothing that I could do to relieve the pain that my loved ones were dealing with and I honestly didn’t know how to offer support without being emotional.

As much as I wanted to get back to my Mrs. Accountabilitee blogs and videos I just didn’t have it in me. To this day I still have a few drafts saved from blog posts that I started, but couldn’t finish. I started to question my purpose as my desire to work on things and determination deteriorated. I felt like a failure for giving up on something that I really loved even if it was temporary. When I finally felt like it had been too long since I posted a blog or video I felt the need to push myself back into it. I tried to convince myself that I was feeling better, but that still didn’t work. It wasn’t until I was standing in front of Niagara Falls about 5 weeks ago that I realized that I really wasn’t okay and I still had a lot that I had to let go of. It was in that moment that I realized that I had to release all of my worries, the helpless feelings, doubts and everything else in between that was holding me back from moving forward. One huge deep breath and a few tears later I felt the weight of its release as I cast my cares away. I walked away feeling so much better! A trip that was supposed to just be an adventurous and romantic road trip for my birthday ended up being so much more than I would’ve ever imagined. I came back with a completely different attitude and outlook on life in general.

Over the past 4 to 5 weeks I’ve been trying to outline my goals and the first steps towards reaching those goals. I’ve been a little quiet on my Mrs. Accountabilitee social media pages and on my blog, but I’ve definitely been getting my mind right on the back end. I have so much to share and so much to do! Thank you to those that have checked in with me to make sure that I was okay or to just let me know that you missed my blogs and videos. Your kind words and love definitely played a huge part in getting me back to where I needed to be. Thank you for not giving up on me!

~Mrs. Accountabilitee

United Way Campaign

I’ve been donating to the United Way through my job for some time now, but this year I wanted to make it all about the kids! Instead of just donating and allowing them to allocate the funds, I decided to have my annual donation split between A.I. DuPont Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. I wanted to support the A.I since it’s here in my hometown, but I also wanted to extend a donation to CHOP as I was recently made aware of how awesome they are after participating in Delaware Walks With Leah. When I was younger I always wanted to volunteer at the children’s hospital, but I never got a chance to do it. I started looking into it this year so I’m hoping that I will get a chance to fulfill that dream sometime next year. If you’re interested in donating to the United Way Campaign please visit http://www.unitedway.org for more details!

~Mrs. Accountabilitee

Operation Warm

I recently volunteered at the Run Inspired 10k Event at Winterthur to benefit Operation Warm. Prior to hearing about this race I hadn’t heard of Operation  Warm so I did some research. I found out that Operation Warm was founded back in 2002 and their mission is to provide brand new coats to children living in poverty. To date, Operation Warm has manufactured and distributed new coats to more than 2 million children in the U.S. This alone was enough to make me want to get involved. Initially I was going to register for the race, but I felt like I would be more valuable as a volunteer. I’m so glad that I made that decision because I don’t think that my experience would’ve been as inspiring if I just ran the course. So many things touched my heart that day! It started with hearing the story of the founders grandson Nikolas who ran his first marathon in 2012 to raise money for Operation Warm. Then just 2 years later he became the youngest person to complete a marathon on each of the seven continents! That’s a major accomplishment for someone so young. And he wasn’t just doing it for the kudos. His main concern was raising funds and he did just that. He raised over $42,000! When they told us his story at the race I was shocked! His story goes to show you that you can do whatever you put your mind to regardless of your age. They told us that Nikolas is known for saying “You don’t have to be big to make a difference.” That is absolutely true!!!!

I signed up to be a medal distributor at the finish line purposely. I could’ve handed out water, snacks, t-shirts, or things of that nature, but I didn’t feel like those other jobs would be good for me. I felt like I was there to encourage, inspire and be inspired. The medal distribution team was awesome! I met some really nice people and was even able to give one some words of encouragement. When our first runner made it to the finish line in just under 32 minutes we were amazed! As the rest of the almost 1,500 people began to cross the finish line I understood why this job was particularly special to me. I met, spoke with, congratulated, and encouraged so many people that I didn’t know. In the midst of them completing this beautiful monster of a course (from what I hear) people were actually thanking me for being there. They could’ve gotten their medal and moved on, but they took the time to talk to us and thank us for volunteering. I was completely taken aback when I saw just how many kids had actually entered the race. The youngest child that I gave a medal to was 10. I was so proud of him! There was another guy that was struggling on the hills of the course, but made it to the finish line. One of the course instructors recognized him and had us take our cheering to the next level to congratulate him on a job well done. There were so many emotional moments during the time that I volunteered. I was very proud to be apart of such an amazing event. I would absolutely do it again without thinking twice!

After volunteering I felt like I could do more so I will also be making a donation to Operation Warm to support their mission.

http://www.operationwarm.com

~Mrs. Accountabilitee

More Water Please!!!

I vowed to drink more water during this challenge by any means necessary! My goal was to drink 100 oz of water each day. Some days are easy and there are other times when I struggle to even get to half of my goal. Over time I developed a few habits that have helped me along the way and now I’m way more consistent than I’ve ever been. I’ll share some of my water rules/tricks with you. Hopefully it’ll help you increase your water intake and your trips to the bathroom. 🙂

#1: Never drink anything less than 64 oz each day

#2: Drink 2 cups of water for every cup of coffee

-This goes for all other non-water beverages as well!

#3: Start early & finish strong!!!!

-I drink my first cup of water before I leave the house or I drink two cups on my way in to work.

-My mini goal is to have at least 50-64 oz of water down before I leave work. This makes it really easy to finish strong at night.

-Drink at least 1 cup before bed

#4: Get creative!

-Drinking water can get boring so I try to change it up a little bit to make it a easier on myself. I drink ice cold water, chilled water, room temperature water, and green tea without sugar.

-Sometimes just changing how you drink it can make a huge difference as well. I have a cute cup that I carry around with me and a cup at work that I use for my water. I also change it up sometimes and drink out of a cup with a straw. It’s weird, but subtle changes like that can actually make it a little easier to get down.

-My absolute favorite is fruit infused water. It’s a great way to trick your mind into thinking that you’re drinking juice. I’ve tried all types of combinations over time. Some of my favorites are below.

Strawberry/Lemon

Lemon/Mint/Cucumber

Lemon/Mint/Ginger

Peach/Pineapple/Mango

Strawberry/Pineapple

Strawberry/Blackberry/Raspberry/Blueberry

Do you have any ideas that you can add to this list? If so, comment down below. I would love to hear them! 🙂

Get More Sleep!

Getting the proper amount of sleep has always been an issue for me, but it has truly gotten out of control this year. There were weeks when my fitbit would tell me that I averaged about 4 hours of sleep per night which is ridiculous. I set a 7 hour goal for myself in my fitbit app hoping that the bedtime reminder would help, but it didn’t. Every single day when the reminder would pop up I just swiped it off my screen and went back to what I was doing. In August I only hit my goal 5 times and each of those times were during the weekend. After looking at that I could understand why I was so dependent upon coffee every morning. I would be up all hours of the night, wake up begging for more sleep, and by the afternoon my coffee would wear off and I would be ready to go to sleep. I would go home promising myself that I was going to go to bed early and by 2am I was counting the hours before my alarm was due to go off at 5:30am.

Once I started my detox in September I couldn’t drink coffee at all so my only other alternative was to try and get more sleep so that I could function. I set a new goal for myself that I thought would be more realistic which was to get to an average of 6 hours of sleep per night. Initially, it was super hard and I still had my days where I was up late, but over time I started to make progress. Over the past few weeks I’ve been averaging about 6 ¼ to 6 ½ hours of sleep per night which is a drastic change for me! That puts me very close to the recommended hours of sleep for an adult.

sleep-facts

After making these changes it has been much easier for me to get up in the morning and get moving. As an added bonus I no longer feel like my head is going to hit my keyboard in the middle of the day which is definitely a plus! After detoxing and not having coffee for a month and a half I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t NEED it to start my day anymore. I had my first cup of coffee about 2 weeks after my detox was over, but I’ve been disciplined enough to limit myself to no more than a cup or two each week, if at all.

Making these changes have been really difficult for me because I’ve always been a night owl, but I’m so glad that I did because I feel so much better. My progress so far has been great, but I’m still pushing to get to an average of 7-8 hours of sleep each night.  I’m hoping that I will get to my next goal before the end of the year. It’s not going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it!